Patience. Ugh. I can have all the patience in the world for other people. But myself? Not so much. In this case, patience when I want to change an annoying habit. Like Procrastination (linked directly to the FEAR quadrant of my cranium). I don't think I've ever met anyone who didn't struggle with that bad boy, Procrastination. (And Fear.) Fear is usually lurking behind Procrastination. Fear of failure, Fear of change, Fear of feeling stupid, even Fear of boredom. But this isn't about Fear. It's about patience and really understanding that change can be slow. Painfully slow, especially for a whirling dervish like me.
As a Life Coach, I often point out to my clients that change takes time. A lifetime of habitual thinking and acting is not going to change overnight. So I'm learning patience as I learn to procrastinate less.
The first step in changing a behavior is to NOTICE it. Pay attention. I've gotten real good at noticing that I'm Procrastinating. Suddenly have the urge to bake cookies? There must be a real scary art project I'm supposed to start. The dog needs a bath? Ohhhh, I was going to start my will today. So I made a list one day of all the things I did INSTEAD OF the task at hand (doing my own taxes, which terrifies me.)
- Didn't get right up out of bed when I woke up.
- Cooked a big 'ol pot of red beans 'n' rice.
- Hand washed a sweater (one of my least favorite domestic chores).
- Created a new way to remember to take items somewhere to be fixed/returned/donated (now I place them in a spiffy red basket that's in a room I frequent).
- Cleared off as many surfaces as possible (fear of being a hoarder/feng shui/feeling of control).
- Read email.
I gave myself a good talking to about what I had to gain if I procrastinated less. Writing these down is a good idea. Make them concrete.
- The next day I got out of bed an hour earlier. (Next step, get up as soon as I wake up.)
- Didn't read every single email and even deleted and unsubscribed to some.
- Didn't water all the plants in the house.
- Didn't clean the kitchen cupboard doors.
I even told myself at one point that it was time to get back to the task at hand. Maybe no big deal to you but for me, this is progress. I also gave myself time limits, 2 hour chunks, then a break, so it felt more doable.
So, are the taxes done? Not quite. They're started and in the plan for the week. And the up side of Procrastinating is, I take care of chores I don't like because something even more distasteful has nudged me there. The beans and rice were delicious, items are being fixed, returned and donated and feng shui is flowing. The lists were a big help - documenting progress feels good, providing evidence of learning. It can even push some of that Fear away. And it's easier to be patient when I see there's progress.
So next time you want to change a habit, notice it, write down the benefits of changing it, document your progress and, for goodness sake, don't beat yourself up if change doesn't happen overnight. If that was true, I'd be black and blue. And now that all those stalling behaviors are out in the open, you can bet your bootie taxes will be done by the end of the week. Now that's something to leap out of bed for!
